Stop premature ejaculation tips
Premature Ejaculation happens to each and every man in different phases in his life.
The most common problem amongst the men Jen works with is premature ejaculation. If you are playing the field (or even if you’re off the market), statistically, it’s highly likely that you will encounter a premature ejaculator. I know I have, and it was awkward at best. In the hopes that you’ll be prepared if it happens to you, I asked Jen for some advice about how to handle a premature situation. After the jump, helpful tips from a professional.
Stop premature ejaculation tips
Stop premature ejaculation tips
1. Access information about premature ejaculation from credible sources and take time to read and understand them
2. Talk about the difference between “sexual” and “sensual.” According to Jen, one of the main problems with a premature ejaculator is that he tends to sexualize sex too much. Instead of enjoying the build up leading up to the big moment, he gets ahead of himself. “People think premature ejaculation is a result of too much sensation, like the penis is so sensitive but it has nothing to do with the penis. He gets so caught up in thought of his orgasm that he climaxes right away,” says Jen.For this, Jen does something called body traces, which is about re-learning how to receive touch and enjoy it in the moment without sexualizing. “You take his hand and you guide it around your body, explaining this is sensual not sexual. You tell him where you like to be touched. This is meant to teach him that touching a boob doesn’t mean ‘boner’, it just means ‘this is what a boob feels like,’” Jen explains. Next Jen asks the men where they like to be touched. “A lot of these guys don’t even know! They get to learn that a hand down the hip bone can feel great too.” Have a conversation with your man about sensuality versus sexuality. Try Jen’s exercise, but also work on having “sensual sessions” that don’t involve sexual intercourse. Keep enjoying touch, do other things. Take the pressure off of his orgasm being the end-all-be-all.
3. Don’t shame him. Premature ejaculation often comes with a lot of shame and embarrassment. If he is worrying while being intimate with you, the premature ejaculation often becomes a self -fulfilling prophecy. So keep your partner’s feelings in mind– further shaming is going to make the problem, worse! When you bring it up the impact premature ejaculation is having on your sex life, Jen warns against doing it while you guy are well, doing it. Try starting the conversation at more neutral time, like over a dinner or some time when you are bonding in a platonic way. Try saying something like, “Hey I get the sense this is hard to talk about and sort of awkward, but I want to help our sex life out. How can we work together to have the sex we want to?”
4. Remember he is normal. Jen sees all kinds of guys. From high-powered lawyers to religious leaders. Premature ejaculation is a common problem that afflicts men of all ages from all walks of life. Jen says it teaches her to have compassion for the penis. “The penis is an anarchist. It doesn’t listen” she says. “Women are controlled by the moon. We have a time-frame for when our fertility goes up and down. We know the moon is taking care of us. Men, not so much.” Keep this in mind if you get frustrated with your man. Having a penis is harder than we may imagine.
5. Don’t be afraid to use a fleshlights. Sure, sometimes fleshlights (male masturbation sleeves) creep us out, but they are great for helping premature ejaculators. Jen has the men she works with use fleshlights to help tackle anxiety about “getting it in.” I’ll leave it up to you whether or not you want to try this one out at home, but you may want to consider purchasing a fleshlight if you want to help your man last longer.
Stop premature ejaculation tips
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Oleh
Stephen
